Monday, October 12, 2009

Drop by ready...

I know there are housewives/stay-at-home moms ("HWSAHM") out there that can keep their homes, "drop by ready", meaning, at anytime, day or night, if someone were to "drop by" their home would be "ready". Mine is not. I fear it never will be. I get a little queasy and jittery when I hear the doorbell ring during the day. I always duck and get low. Really, like the Taliban rang the door bell or something! Or the kidnappers with guns are here to get me. (A little something I have to thank my older brothers for....yes, I am STILL afraid of unmarked white vans!) I am sure I look ridiculous, but my boys are one, they don't know what I am doing. Usually it is the UPS or Fedex man delivering a package of some online bought 'goods' I have purchased the week before that I haven't told my husband about. SIDE NOTE: THANK GOD they deliver during business hours. What a sad, sad day for all the HWSAHMs if they announced an evening delivery *only* service. We would have to explain away all our online purchases! The online retailers might actually be forced out of business! I won't go there.
Anyways, with the way my house looks during the day, perhaps an unexpected house guest is to be feared just as bad as the Taliban or Kidnapper. Toys everywhere, diapers strung from here to there, food on floor, dirty dishes in and out of the sink, boys PJs most likely still on the floor from our morning change. It is bad. Real bad. But I know, deep down, I can do better. I just need to learn how to clean as I go. Not clean at a stopping point. This way, when the doorbell rings, I will get excited. Who is here to see me? Who is hear to see my fresh clean house? ha ha. That sounds funny. I know there are HWSAHMs that can do it. And I wish I were them. My goal is to be them. Really, it is. The reason why I thought about this is...
Today, as I was pulling up to my home, (in my stinky spilled milk, can't find it, cracked windows to air out, red, SUV) a gold Lexus with a couple in their mid-60s, was driving really slow in our neighborhood. They were looking at me. I was looking back at them. Do they know me. Are they lost. Are they good people/bad people. Are they out to get me. Am I going to end up on 48 hrs... Next thing I know, they were pulled up next to me. Hello. Hi. We built this house. Oh. We looovve this house! My mom designed the kitchen. I love the kitchen. We are up keeping it well. You have nothing to worry about. Yadi Yadi Yadi.... In the back of my mind, I am thinking, I know you want me to invite you in, but there is NO WAY IN HELL! I need notice. My house is not, and I fear it will never be, "drop by ready..."

1 comment:

  1. Genius! Shudder at the thought of evening delivery. Marjorie would be even worse off than I. My new Shark steam mop came today and I am brazenly leaving it on the dining room table!